Empirical research on Israeli and German gay couples, who fulfilled their wish for a family with a surrogate mother, reveals a strong narrative on being a ‘normal family’ – a married couple with children. This ‘normality’ is constructed through coupledom characterized by enduring love, stability and modest lifestyle. On the contrary, the couples are very critical of national legislations and heteronormative privileges discriminating them.In my interpretation they undergo a process of subjectivation and normalisation while simultaneously resisting interpellations by trying not “being governed quite so much” (Foucault 1997). They engage in a field of ambivalences: ARTs could be seen as a queer encounter to overcome the heterosexual privilege of reproduction. However, it is questionable if they deconstruct heteronormative paradigms on kinship since they focus on biological relatedness. Nevertheless, the couples invest in intimate relationships with surrogates and egg donors integrating them into the family making process. These practices can be analysed as resistant strategies of ‘hybrid subjects’ (Haraway 1991) engaging in new forms of kinship making.Furthermore, comparing Israel and Germany, homosexual parenting and surrogacy are framed within different accentuations of biopolitical regulations. While surrogacy is legal, but strictly monitored in Israel, the access to ARTs is very restricted and only accessible for heterosexual couples in Germany. Taking this into account shows, how social, political and legal contexts influence kinship making narratives. It illustrates how legal frameworks and social policies are relevant for queer kinship ‘in the making’ and how they reinforce the emergence of new normativities.

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